In a world that can often be everything but forgiving and understanding, the need to fight for your own ground is pivotal, especially for a woman. Being a woman is difficult enough as it is, but being a successful career woman with a family to look after is no small challenge – a beautiful one, but still a challenge.
It’s safe to say that as women, history has shown us to fight for every great (or small feat) whether it’s for the freedom of speech, the right to vote to the chance for a higher education, and more gender equality. These very feats continue to inspire and motivate us to continue to break down the gender stereotypes and strive to be who we believe we are and not who we are told to be.
But while everything about women movement sounds (and functions) just right in theory, in reality – things are a bit different. No matter how successful in what she does, no matter how busy, overwhelmed, sought after or engaged at her job, a woman is still expected to keep a family, be a good wife, an even better parent and a picture perfect exterior that would never stain a white dress. Being the kickass superwoman is great, but it can also be a bit overwhelming too.
I love my family more than anything in this world. As a mother of three, and a devoted wife, I find it my personal best achievement that I’ve raised three beautiful, smart and healthy kids who are, as days go by, more and more ready to take on the world. I love it that I still manage to sneak in a few romantic getaways with my hubby and be ok to be worry-free. I am proud of myself for being made partner at the firm after only three years working there and that even with all this I am still, well, sane.
However, none of it would’ve happened or worked for as long as it has if I hadn’t found time for myself to unwind and decompress… self-love is the thing, you know? It may sound selfish to some, but you simply must take care of yourself, your mental and emotional health, your physique and well-being in order not to fail on other fronts. You have to help yourself first and then move on to helping others.
To all of you amazing 21st century women out there who are CEO-ing your families, running businesses and still are the life of every social gathering, I get it. It’s tiring, sometimes dreadful, often times alarmingly difficult. Fortunately, I have a few personal self-love tips that has worked for me and that will help you cross that bridge, and learn how to manage it all without feeling pressed for anything.
Sit tight and read on:
Tip #1: The importance of solitude
Having a big or a small family, endless commitments at work and an active social life will leave you completely drained. And while love and constant buzz of the people you love and appreciate can be rewarding, it’s necessary to buffer it with some solitude for yourself or you’ll go insane.
The key to finding balance between your inner world and all-things-outside is to embrace solitude whenever possible. The richer your time alone is, the richer your relationships with others be. Family activities are amazing and a packed workday can be very stimulating, too – but finding the time to get away from all that is key to adjust and regulate your life.
Go for a walk alone, go on a date with yourself around the city on your day off, have a takeout coffee and go see that show in the gallery you’ve been talking about for months now. Banal thrills like going shopping alone (without your friends) or to the park to watch the river flow are life savers. Implement what feels right and make it your personal routine.
Tip #2: The significance of self-love
Loving yourself through nurturing your inner and outer beauty is one of the key ingredients to staying on the path to success and accomplishment. To love others, you first need to love yourself, and that love comes with a lot of work on your psyche and physical health. Apart from going to therapy once every two weeks (I honestly don’t want to burden my friends with talks that they can’t be of any help with), I’ve picked up boxing and yoga and I’ve upgraded my clothes. You’ll be surprised with how an array of fabulous shapewear, quality lingerie and dresses that flatter my figure can boost the confidence levels and make me feel more feminine and in control.
I even write down in my planner a visit to the salon once a week to pamper myself a bit. And believe me it’s totally worth it.
Tip #3: The impact of healthy choices
Pressed for time, we often resort to fried foods, quick-on-the-way-to-work meals, bake goods or sweets to keep our energy levels high. In the long run, such nutrition will bringing about a series of health issues, general feeling of indolence and otiose and before you know it – it’s taking you five times longer to do things you’d normally do in a second. Turn to healthy foods, workouts, yoga and meditation for physical and mental clarity and your overall health boost. Find ways to relax. Buy some yarn and start knitting. Or take on recycling. Not only will you feel powerful for making these changes, but your body, mind and the environment will thank you in turn.
Tip #4: The value of structure and routine
Adding some structure to your day and, consequently, your life will help you get things done easier, quicker and more successful. Now these structures may be insignificant little things like always waking up at a certain time, watching your favorite documentary at another time or using a particular technique to decompress. But they’re effective! In fact, I’ve made it a routine to wake up at 5AM before anyone is up, have my coffee in peace and read the paper. I go swimming every Sunday (alone). Every Friday, I meet my gals for a power-lunch. These routines may seem small but do a lot of good. So find your own routines that fuel your mind, body and soul.