[dropcap]W[/dropcap]hile the dating scene is often alluded to being a “Jungle”, finding the perfect Man has also been compared to finding a “Unicorn”. Not just because unicorns are so rare (not to mention, mythical), but because nothing is usually so squeaky clean that it could be described as pure as this mythical creature. Now to be fair, all of us have skeletons in our closet and secrets that we’d rather not immediately disclose to a potential soul mate.
Still, no matter her background or her past, every woman has the right to a dignified happy relationship based on love, respect, and sincere interest in each other’s dreams and development. Remember that the point of a relationship is to develop and grow together. If you’re looking for a whole and complete individual, (assuming you could actually find one), chances are that they wouldn’t have much of a need for you. So without being naive, be realistic and forgiving in your introductory encounters. There needs to be something that your “already-accomplished” and successful man can sincerely credit to you for helping make him even better.
Women need to differentiate between appearances – what a man claims to be – and effects – what a man truly has become, and where he is going in his life. As you explore and mingle, here are a few tips to help make your dating experience feel a little more like a walk through paradise – and not a hunt in the Jungle.
[tabs] [tab title=”Quiz” icon=”entypo-book”] With your potential partner in mind, decipher the following characteristics and circle the letter or number:
a. He gets attention because he’s made friends with everyone he meets
b. He gets attention because of his money
c. He gets attention because he hangs with colorful and known groups of friends
d. He gets attention because of having a “colorful” personality, or from having
lots of women around him
a. When we disagree, I can tell that he works hard to control his temper
b. When we disagree, at that moment he always gives in and lets me have my way
c. When we disagree, we have some words, and may be alone for a few hours
d. When we disagree, he blows up and we end up on yet another break
a. He is clear about what he likes. If his preferences and opinions are a bit “off” or biased, he
acknowledges it, and may even work on changing himself
b. He is extremely picky
c. He is a little picky, but more often than not, he lets me have my way
d. He argues his point some, but doesn’t drag it out
1. He is open to talking about the nature of our relationship
2. He has moments where he’s open to talking about the nature of our relationship, even though
it seems to sometimes scare him
3. He never seems to address our relationship. He gets upset, perhaps defensive, or redirects the
conversation to another subject
a. He has little or no social media presence
b. He tends to brag about a lot of his material things and accomplishments on Social Media
c. He posts photos of us together on his Social Media
d. He is obsessed with his Social Media: How many and who is following him
a. He observed you in groups from a distance (or as casual friends) for a while before he
suggested a date
b. His opening pick-up line included an offer to buy you a drink, a gift, or something else
c. He made a lot of eye contact with you as he worked his way up to be introduced
d. He talks to a lot of women in the room before he comes up to talk with you
a. He’s open with his phone – willing to share it with me whenever I ask for it
b. He is often on his phone for “business”, but he is also protective about it
c. He gets messaged from other girls, but doesn’t hide it or deny it. Sometimes he is defensive
about it
d. He is very protective of his phone – turning it over when he sets it down, and always keeps
the lock code confidential
1. I’ve never heard him swear
2. He swears on occasion
3. He swears often, daily, in many conversations
a. His first physical contact with you is brief, as though to help you maneuver through a crowd,
or with a handshake/parting goodbye
b. He slyly touches you whenever he’s bought you something (a drink, jewelry, etc.)
c. He may be eager to touch you, but he tries to pick up your signals that you’re open to it
d. He is quick to grab your leg or your waist, even sometimes making it appear “accidental”
a. He uses terms like “care for you” and “you’re so special”, before he will ever say that he
“loves” you
b. He seems aware that you are with him because you like the things he buys for you
c. He tells you that he loves you rather quickly, but clearly your relationship is growing into love
the longer you both are together
d. He is desperate for you to pledge your love and loyalty to him (even if he doesn’t
reciprocate), and becomes upset or suspicious if you don’t
[/tab] [/tabs]
[tabs] [tab title=”Quiz Results” icon=”entypo-book”] Now count up to find the majority letter category that best describes your guy (“1’s” = A’s, “2”s” = B’s, and “3’s” = D’s). Don’t worry about the numbered questions until later.
- If you have mostly “D’s“, in my experience, it is possible that he is a “Player“.
- If you have mostly “B’s“, he is possibly a “Middle Man“.
- If you have mostly “C’s“, it is possible that he is a “Sugar Daddy“.
- If you have mostly “A’s“, then darling, you have found a “Unicorn“![/tab]
[/tabs]
[button style=’red’ url=’http://www.modernchicmag.com/navigating-dating-scene-part-2-player-sugar-daddy-middle-man/’ target=’_blank’ icon=’entypo-fast-forward’ fullwidth=’true’]Click here to read part 2 for descriptions of “The Player”, “The Sugar Daddy” & “The Middle Man”[/button]
[infobox title=’About Writer’]
Actress/Musician & 2014 PSW Emmy® Award Presenter Jillisa Lynn (http://jillisalynn.com/)
[/infobox]
