A few decades ago, you met someone via a friend of a friend, at the coffee shop or at a bar. You talked on the phone, you went out on a few dates, and suddenly, you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. These days, it’s a bit more complicated than that. Websites and apps constructed specifically for singles to find their matches have become very popular in recent times, and, for many, are the preferred way of meeting someone. You can now make a profile on OkMatchTinderCupid.com, add a particularly flattering photo, try to come off as witty and intelligent in your responses to leading questions like “What’s your favorite color?”, and finally click “join”. Then, you either click through other people’s profiles or wait for them to come to you via message, which if you’re a girl, will be 80% sexual innuendos or blatant come-ons. Then, maybe, maybe, you meet someone who seems worthwhile, and you tentatively give them your cell number, hoping for the best. When he or she texts you for the first few times (because no one actually speaks on the phone anymore), you always have your shackles up. Because even the most gentlemanly or womanly of suitors can turn out to be perverts just waiting for the right break in conversation to fit in a poorly lit picture of their genitals. Yes, this happens more times than not.
This is because the Age of the Internet offers a lot of anonymity. In addition to your Everything Box, you also have text, which allows people to chat with each other without having to hear their voices or see their faces, so they become sort of disembodied. And they know it, which hikes up their confidence. Sometimes, that confidence can be sexy. Other times, that confidence tips over the line to “ew, gross”.
Therein lies the major problem. Before the advent of the Internet and dating websites, when you met someone, you actually had to get to know them face to face before letting them know that you’d happily and eagerly moved to sex. Now, with all that anonymity, it’s so much easier to tell someone you’ve been acquainted with for all of ten minutes that you want to get “frisky” with them. And then you could be missing out on a genuinely interesting person because you decided to let your pants do the talking and ended up turning them off.
Think about it. Would you go up to an attractive person on the street and ask them what color their underwear is? I think not.
Additionally, other problems arise when you’re hoping to find That Special Someone online. You can find yourself totally connecting with someone online, can even Skype with them, but when you two meet face to face, you find that you have nothing to talk about, because you’ve already told them everything about yourself. The date fails and you’re left feeling vastly disappointed. Or you can find someone you really like, who also likes you back, but unfortunately lives in a completely different state or country altogether (yup guilty here).
The technological age has also made it possible to end a relationship without really ending it. Yup, it’s true. It is called “ghosting”, and is the worst feeling imaginable (If you do this, well excuse the french but fuck you). It’s when you meet someone you’re really into, who seems to be really into you, but after some time, just gradually starts to fade away because he or she has lost interest and is too gutless to tell you. They stop returning your texts and delete you from all social media. It’s painful and leaves the ghostee feeling like utter crap.
Now I won’t say that they’re aren’t benefits to Internet dating. Actually, Internet dating does allow you to get to know the person first without actually having to set a date that could potentially end up being extremely awkward because you find out too late that you have nothing in common. It also gives you the opportunity to possibly meet your soul mate, who could be anywhere in the world, with just a push of a few buttons. Who knows? The right guy or girl for you could be in Egypt or Kazakhstan and you would have no idea if it wasn’t for the Internet. But don’t forget, you have to decide if the potential heartbreak of being united only through the thin vine of technology is worth it. For some it is; for other, not so much.
Online dating has opened many doors, but it has also made way for a deeper kind of heartbreak that was simply not an option a few decades ago. Once again, only you can decide if that is ultimately worthwhile. The good news is, putting your heart on the line is as old as time, and even if it doesn’t work out, you have that experience going forward.
