[dropcap]S[/dropcap]ometimes, it’s really hard for us to live in such a demanding world, full of unrealistic expectations. It starts from small things, like when you spend the whole day cleaning your house and when you finally sit down at the end of the day, you get mad at yourself because you didn’t have time to put your closet in order as well. Later, it gets bigger – you just gave birth to the most beautiful girl, and you realized that at least once in her life, some stupid guy is going to break her heart – and you’re feeling scared. The list goes on, and on. And this endless list can often feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel no matter what we do or what we achieve.
But we don’t have to feel this way.
First of all, take a deep breath. Evict all the negative thoughts from your head just for a second and memorize what I am going to say now: it is in our nature to always crave for bigger things. We always want more, and we are never fully satisfied.
Know that there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. There is nothing wrong with ambition, drive or even setting goals for yourself. Without any of these, we would not grow or prosper. But it’s also important to find a healthy and happy medium that encourages the growth without leaving us feeling nervous or anxious anymore.
When your past calls, don’t answer.
Just ask yourself: why are you regretting something that has already happened? How can you know if you would be happier right now in this moment if you accepted that blind date 5 years ago? There is no convenient time machine you can just slip into when you need to correct some error along the way. Chances are you will never know how things could have turned out, which is why beating yourself over it is just destructive. While you may not like some of the turns your life has taken, spending less time dwelling on the whys enables you to work in the here and now.
You will rise by lifting others
Being able to selflessly help others is a very powerful thing, and has the bonus of giving you a boost of confidence. There are many ways you can help someone. You can look into a charity and help those in need with clothes, food, money, and even your time. Or volunteering at schools to help guide the future generation. If you have your own children, even better. Teach them how important it is to be frugal. For example, show them that, with a little bit of online research, they can find great deals on clothes for children that is high-quality and their kids will love wearing it. Not only have your children learned a great lesson, but you will also feel incredibly fulfilled.
Emotions are temporary states of mind.
People tend to mistake being content with being happy all the time. The real meaning of contentment is being able and free to express every single emotion, but yet not allowing it to leave a permanent mark on you. If you are happy – jump around and sing your throat out. If you are angry – let it all out loud (without it being destructive of course), if you are sad – don’t be scared to cry. Sadness is not the sign of weakness – it is a form of bravery, just like any other emotion.
Comparison is the thief of joy
These are very powerful words said by Theodore Roosevelt. You should NEVER compare yourself to other people, it will only cause damage to your mind. The size of your neighbor’s house, the wage of your sister, the perfect relationship of your best friend and her boyfriend/husband is not your problem! You can’t change other people’s situations, and know that there is always going to be someone who has a better (or worse) life than you. Maybe that best friend of yours is jealous because you have 2 children while she has none? Maybe that sister wants to have a family like yours, but she can’t because she’s working too much? You will never know, and you should never care.
Pamper Yourself
Treat yourself honey! Of course, money can’t fulfill our psychological needs such as to feel loved, secure and good at what we do, but it can sometimes erase that color blue from our faces, right? Remember, you are a strong, working woman. If you want to treat yourself to that fancy coat you’ve had your eye on for a while now then why not. Want to take that lifelong trip to Macchu Picchu than by all means go for it. Treating yourself to a good pampering ever so often, is essential to you enjoying the fruits of your labor.
I completely agree with all of these. I am really bad at comparing myself to others. I need to stop!
This week I will attempt to lift others up and pamper myself:-)
I so agree with this! I try to never compare myself with others. I used to do this, but I realized there’s no point!
When out of happiness i always say go and find a way to help others. it is the fastest way to find peace of mind!
These are great tips! I find that the constant comparison with others is hard to get away from especially with social media so it’s nice to turn off technology once in awhile and enjoy your own headspace. Guess I need to treat myself ore often! haha
I love this, especially leaving the past in the past! I also agree that pampering yourself is important .
Great tips! I think for women the last point is the hardest. I often take care of myself last, after work and family… a lot of place for improvement!
Too funny, when you said this “When your past calls, don’t answer” I immediately thought oh they definitely means exes haha! But I do agree with you, always onward and upward!
This is a really lovely post! I totally agree with it all especially the ‘you rise by lifting others’. So very true!
This is everything I’m learning in my mental health recovery, and it’s great that you presented your points so succinctly. Just want to say your last point is about self care. And the mistake is using people, places and things to avoid dealing with one’s feelings. Treating oneself is awesome, as long as it isn’t simply a tool for denial and unhealthy escapism 🙂 ♥
I feel like making others happy is a great way to be happy yourself. However, I do think we need to be careful to not overdo it and make sure we are taking time to give into our needs and give ourselves the same attention and affection. Lovely post!
Great advice! I definitely need to work on not comparing myself to others and focusing on the present instead of the past. I always find that going for a long walk outside helps clear my mind and boost my happiness 🙂
I really like the bit on how emotion is a temporary state of mind–that is so true! Bottling up our emotions is self-destruction and it’s so important to express how we fell. Amazing post!
http://www.insearchofsheila.com
Nice advice. I really liked reading this post. I love what you said about pampering yourself. We can forget to do that sometimes, especially moms.
Oh my gosh you are sooo right, especially with the Comparison tip. I know so many women including myself that feel confident until we compare ourselves to others. Great post!
Ahhhhh….regret…i hate when it rears it’s ugly head! I think ignoring it is the biggest one for me.
A really good post! so true and honest! these are all great tips! Comparing yourself to others is not the best way to go and moving on is the way forward! thanks for sharing xx corinne
I love that you brought up and talked about the difference between contentment and happiness. So often, we forget the difference between the two – and there IS one.
ahhh, you had me at the first one … don’t answer when your past calls. Brilliant!
That is what I have learnt too. When your past calls it is best to acknowledge it but move on. There is no time for time wasters.
Love his type of post! It is so important to take care of yourself in order to be truly happy. Great tips! I sometimes talk about this types of topics on my blog too :)!!
http://www.fashionovermatter.com
You.are.amazing. This post was incredible and so relevant. I had to bookmark this so I can come back to it and reread every now and then.
Santana | http://www.santanasays.com
Teddy Roosevelt was a smart man. Comparison IS the thief of joy. I appreciate this post and the reminder.
Great post and so true. I agree and LOVE the positivity you have here!
This is such an inspiring post! I love the point about lifting up others and not focusing on the past. Pinning!
I absolutely love this! I’m a firm believer that the past is the past for a reason, so I couldn’t agree more with you on that one (or any of these, actually aha). So inspiring, thanks for the pick-me-up!
Christie’s Take on Life. xx
I have a hard time with my emotions, I let them overtake me. Sometimes it’s better to let them simmer so you can more easily move on.
Yes to all of these, especially the last one. I believe self-pampering is so important!
I really needed these right now. I’m currently going through some things but this posts motivated me a little. Thank you <3
My favourite would have be “You will rise if you lift others”. That is something I have been trying to live by for a while now. Feels great!
You will indeed rise by lifting others. I have found more joy helping others than I ever did wallowing in self pity
Love the last one….Pamper Yourself! On yes, it definitely boosts my happiness to pamper myself. I’m a mom of 2 so I don’t get to do it often but when I do I feel like a whole new woman again. 🙂
xoxo Barb
http://www.flashesofdelight.com
I am going to have to remember that when my past calls don’t answer it. I always seem to get stuck in my past and I never know why. It’s because I let it in to haunt me. Definitely doesn’t make me happy.
I love the idea that when the past calls don’t answer. There are far too many times where something from my past creeped up and I couldn’t help but go back to it. Ah well. I resolve to do differently next time.
COmparison is the thief of joy. Been struggling with it for sometime but now, I don’t do it anymore. Turns out they’re jealous of my life as well. I guess the grass is really greener on the other side.
http://thewallflowersecrets.com
No 6 – be content! If you’re happy with what you’ve got, you’ll be less likely to look elsewhere.
These are all beautiful suggestions. It would be nice to be supportive of others. I agree with comparing as well, we should never compare ourselves to others, it will not only spark insecurity but envy as well. It’s going to be toxic for you.
This is great! It’s always important to leave the past in the past, otherwise, you’re just going to end up repeating everything you did before. Some me time is a must, you should never forget to take good care of yourself!
These are such great tips. I generally love my life and am so happy to be alive, but I struggle with liking myself a LOT, which really brings me down. My number one goal is to quit comparing myself to others as I know that has a lot to do with my bad self esteem. We’re all unique, wonderful human beings, and we should all be proud of who we are. Thank you for spreading some positivity x
http://www.thesmalladventurer.blogspot.com.au/
Wonderful advice and reminders we can all benefit from remembering and practicing daily. I especially love the emotions are temporary states of mind and comparison is the chief of joy. I know I fall victim to these and although it is a natural human instinct, I am determined to move past it. Thanks for the great info!
Excellent advice. I see so many people fall victim to many of these issues – especially forgetting that emotions are temporary.
Comparison is the thief of joy – one of my favorite quotes! I have found this to be so true in my life. Love your tips!
This is such a resourceful post. Great tips…it’s so important to do what makes us happy.
This is awesome advice. You should always pamper yourself.
These are really great tips to boost a happy life. I’m happiest when I am helping others. I need to pamper myself sometimes too.
comparison is the thief of joy; i absolutely love this entire post. it is so incredible encouraging and just what i needed to hear today.
This is such a great topic! Comparison for others who need it and uplifting others are my favorites.
What a great topic to write about. We do live in a high stress society. It’s so important to remember to be true to ourselves and take time each day for ourselves and focus on the positive
I love this post! It is so true and SO necessary to follow this advice. Especially elevating others and not comparing your life to someone elses
Love this! And that quote from Roosevelt is one of my favorites. It’s SO important to remember and realize that we are of value, and should look at ourselves and others in that way.
I really try hard to focus on my own goals and the positives in my life. Comparing yourself to others is a slippery slope, and you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Enjoy your own life and always have gratitude 🙂
Gennifer Rose | http://www.GenniferRose.com
amazing and good tips, sometimes we forget to have that happy life. these are really resourceful tips.
Comparison is definitely the theif of joy. Following someone else’s purpose will never lead you to achieve yours.
as soon as I read the first paragraph I thought “who would think like that?”. I’m a the kind of totally irresponsible person that just lives the present time. I do worry sometimes, but just the necessary and when things really urge. My husband is all the contrary to me, and I definitely will be passing your list to him!!
“When your past calls, don’t answer”. I LOVE this!
This is such a great post to rub off your positivity on others. Great way to wind up your friday even on a positive and happy note. Thank you.
This post really enforces my beliefs … thanks for sharing! Plus I love this line, “You should NEVER compare yourself to other people, it will only cause damage to your mind.” =0)
the first one really hit home with me. Lately I have had a lot of people from my past pop up for various reasons and it is best to leave them where they were all this time. in the past.
This post is really helpful but i think If you don’t embrace who you are and accept who you are, you won’t be able to live a happy life.
When your past calls, don’t answer.- For me this was the most important point to make as sometimes I am guilty of regretting or wishing I had done something differently but you are right we can’t fixate on the past. Instead we need to look at the present x