Tips on Feeling Confident on Your First Date

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here are very few things in life that fill the heart with that impalpable mixture of fear, anticipation and excitement like a first date does. Yes, just getting ready for one is thrilling, but also a bit scary. You think about whether your outfit is good enough or if perhaps it’s too much, whether you should go with a red lip or tone the makeup down. Then, your mind shifts to other ‘logistic’ parts of the date. You envision scenarios in which it all happens like in the movies, and then the mind suddenly goes into disaster mode and you begin going over all the things that could go wrong. Now we know this can be overwhelming, which is why we are sharing our best tips on how to gain confidence, and also have that perfect first date. So let’s begin.

Take it down a notch

There are usually two types of scenarios we build in our heads before a first date. Depending on our current mindset, we’re either confident the date will be a total train-wreck as the person in question will have none of the traits we’re looking for. The other scenario is perhaps even worse – before even meeting the person, we’ve already put them on a pedestal and we can almost hear wedding bells in our head. Neither of these approaches is good. If you’re in the first mindset, you won’t even give the person a chance, and  in the second, you might be blind to red flags and potential deal-breakers.

The key is to remain open-minded, but realistic. Don’t expect too much, but don’t expect a complete fiasco either. It’s just a dinner, so relax and don’t even bother yourself with expectations. And there is something empowering about not carry that extra weight on our shoulders.

That perfect outfit

Most of us can get too caught on finding the perfect date outfit than we ought to be. The truth is that we don’t always need to buy a new dress or go over-the-top with a killer outfit. Yes, looking nice, presentable and even a little bit sexy is always good, but don’t go overboard, and definitely don’t squeeze yourself into an outfit that makes you feel uncomfortable. No matter how amazing that dress you have is, if you’re going to feel like ‘Oh my God, I can’t wait to get home and get this thing off’, it’s not worth it. You need to dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and celebrates your unique taste, but not feel self-conscious in it. The more comfortable you feel, the more relaxed and focused you’ll be on your date.

Think in terms of amazing flowy maxi dresses that give your body room to breathe, allow you to move, and look stunning every step of the way. Even a pair of your favorite jeans and a great blouse are good enough. Remember, as long as you feel good, it will shine through.

Get ready

We’re not saying that you should memorize entire dialogues, so you’re not stumped for conversation, but a bit of prep can’t hurt. There are general things people usually talk about on a first date like favorite movies, shows you’ve been binge-watching on Netflix, your favorite taco place – you know the deal. Still, there are times when those uncomfortable silences creep in, and the fact that this is a first date magically makes them all the more uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s not a bad idea to have a few topics in the back of your mind – a funny or even embarrassing anecdote from your childhood (or even a more recent one).

You probably have incredible stories to tell, so don’t be afraid of sharing them. They always break the ice, and when you open up like that to someone – by sharing something more personal than a favorite TV show, you might even get an instant invitation to a second date.

Be a good listener

If the date is going well and the two of you just can’t seem to shut up, that’s great. However, take a minute to think about how much you’re talking. Keeping the conversation alive is great, but not if your voice is the only one that’s being heard.

Be polite and don’t interrupt your date. While on your date, make sure to keep direct eye contact as much as possible and be attentive. Being confident is one thing,  but talking about yourself constantly is a turnoff.

Whatever will be, will be

One of the key signs of a truly confident person is that they are 100% authentic. It can be tempting to take on a completely different persona to impress a date, but you’re setting yourself on the wrong foot from the start. And frankly, it’s just too exhausting.

All you can do on a date is just be yourself and hope for the best. If there is no second date then just dust yourself off and move on. Don’t take it personally.  If he or she isn’t calling then it wasn’t meant to be. See, we can often tear ourselves apart trying to figure out why it didn’t work. Maybe we smiled too much or gave off a friend only vibe. But whatever the reason might be, it’s their problem not ours.